Run for it!
by an evil crazy genius
Summary: The summer after fourth year they broke the number one rule for the survival of your sanity: never leave Harry Potter alone. This is not going to end well.


To say that Voldemort was mad would be an understatement, he was about ready to kill everyone in the room. It had been weeks since he had been reborn and there was still no sign of the Potter brat. But it was enjoyable to see how the Ministry keep refusing his return, it was going to be so much fun seeing there faces when they realized they were wrong.

He was pulled from these thoughts when he spotted a snowy owl coming in through an open window. _How did it get passed the wards_ , he thought, _never mind that how did it find me in the first place?_ He studied the bird carefully as it landed on the table in front of him, looking over he saw Nagini staring hungrily at it as well. But then to his surprise the bird looked over and glared at the large snake in a way that clearly said that if the thing tried to eat it, it was going to end very painfully for the snake, Nagini promptly hid behind his chair. Reaching over he took the letter tied to the glaring bird. Voldemort blinked very slowly after opening the letter which was equivalent to him gaping in shock. Eyebrows raised he began reading the letter.

 _Dear Voldy,_

 _You may be wondering why you are getting a letter from me, the reason is that I am dying of boredom. My friends haven't replied to any of my letters (seriously how hard is it to send a letter) and I have nothing to do, plus I'm pretty sure that I can't make you hate me or want to kill me anymore than before (what are you going to do kill me twice?) so I sent you a letter. I mean my life can't get any worse right, never mind don't answer that._

 _Anyways I've decided to get revenge on all my friends for ignoring me since I have nothing better to do, so can you not do any attacks or only try to kill me after summers over (I'm honestly not sure that that's even possible). Aside from that if you have gotten past this point without killing, torturing, or horribly maiming someone then you have officially exceeded my expectations but you must have a high tolerance for stupid being around Lucius all the time. If you could at least keep all the evil plots to a minimum it will be appreciated._

 _From,_

 _The Bane of your Existence_

 _AKA_

 _Harry Potter_

 _P.S._

 _If you know any cool or funny spells please send a letter with Hedwig. By the way if she takes some of your food just don't say anything or she may bite you (it hurts a lot more than it sounds) and if you could recommend anyone in Knockturn alley I could use it. Thanks, HP._

Voldemort stared at the letter for a long time finally coming to the conclusion that the boy has a death wish. He had just sent a letter to the Dark lord, who was his mortal enemy, because he was bored, complained about his friends, asked for there to be no attacks so that he could prank his said friends, then asks for advice on spells. _That's it_ , the Dark Lord thought, _the brats more insane that me._

Harry was about to strangle someone. His 'friends' hadn't written anything to him this summer and eventually just started to send back his letters to them unopened. _Fine if they want to be that way_ , he though a malicious grin spreading across his face, _might as well make this interesting._ Then he did something that probably if it got out would get him sent to St. Mungos, he sent a letter to the Dark Lord. He new that it was a crazy thing to do but old Moldy Shorts was already out to get him any ways and right now he was bored and angry, never a good combination for him. Over the years Harry had spent a lot of time alone stuck in a dark cupboard, so he had gotten good at entertaining himself, but what most people don't know is that he also got good at thinking about revenge.

No one could prove that he made Dudley get chased around the neighborhood by a group of cats or that he made Aunt Petunia's hair turn blue for a week (he still got punished for it but no one could prove that it was him). Now he was starting to think of something he could do to his so called 'friends' for leaving him alone for the summer at the Dursleys, none of them good.

Pecking out of the blinds he looked to see if Hedwig was back and saw another one of the Dumbys spies. He noticed them after only three days (seriously they could at least have tried to be sneaky about it), a person who has been kidnapped and been through a lot of deadly situations like he has tends to on the paranoid side. So he might have asked Dobby to set up a ward that let him know if a wizard or witch was near the house and then he noticed that they were rotating at certain times. Only two people would want to spy on him and Voldemort would have killed him by now so that leaves good old Dumbledore. Revenge was going to be so sweet.

Dumbledore was in his office when he felt a shiver run up his spine. Looking around he thought, _that was weird,_ he stared at the fireplace, _Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?_

Hedwig flew into the small room when Harry opened the window with a piece of parchment attached to her leg. Harry raised his eyebrows in surprise, _wow I never actually expected him to respond_ , he thought.

" Do you think he cursed it?" he asked Hedwig who just stuck her leg out and he swore he saw her eyes roll. "Okay, but if I end up dead I'm blaming you."

 _Dear Potter Brat,_

 _How on earth did your owl find me and is it normal for her to glare at people that much?_

At that part he looked over at Hedwig, "Congratulations you have officially freaked even the Dark Lord out with your glares, next time do Dumbledore." She just stared at him smugly.

 _And no I will not stop attacking just so you can prank the imbeciles you call friends.(if you must prank someone prank the old dunce) No I will not recommend places in Knockturn Alley. Yes I don't know how you did it but I officially hate you more than before, I didn't even know that that was possible. And please stop thinking of Severus in a yellow bikini, I see everything you think of and it's starting to disturb even me._

 _From,_

 _Your mortal enemy_

 _Lord Voldemort_

Harry just for the heck of it thought of Snape in a bikini again.

Lord Voldemort was writing when all of a sudden his eyes widened and he banged his head on the desk in front of him, contemplated if being a dark lord was worth having a mind connection to a psychopath.

Harry grinned maniacally enough that even Hedwig backed away from him, he started to hatch a plan that would make them all rue the day they had ignored him. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Wow. Maybe he was spending way too much time in Voldy's head.


End file.
